“Then other places, other experiences—the ones I had the least expectations of—surprised me. They riveted my soul, opened my heart, touched me, changed me in ways I didn’t expect. In ways that still surprise me.”
Forgive yourself. Just 2 words, but aren’t they difficult?
I’ve been in a place of forgiveness over the past few months. Even though I’ve been able to make hard/right decisions for myself, I’m starting to feel that I haven’t fully forgiven myself for walking away from places that made me feel bad/sad/inauthentic…but I did and that should be all the confirmation I needed to walk away.
I pride myself on being a woman who knows who she is and stands strong in knowing her needs/wants <which I do>, but I’ll be honest and say that the past few months has challenged those thoughts more than ever. I recognize that when one goes through something difficult it can challenge you in ways you either knew were coming, or blindsided you completely. I guess I thought I had it all figured out with my last relationship. Recognize the situation isn’t right for you, rationalize it, execute it, and move on. Seems so simple when I break it down like that, but the emotional pieces that trail behind have been surprising. I recognize it is a good thing that I feel the remaining emotion <it makes me human after all>, but it confuses me. Do I really know what I want? <this is irrational Erica> Rational thought <Life is made up of experiences which make us the human beings we are at this moment in time. If it wasn’t right then, it will eventually lead you to that place when you are ready>. 🙂
“Forgive yourself if you’ve done something wrong. Forgive yourself even if you haven’t done something wrong. Then see how good forgiveness feels. Forgive yourself and be free.”
Well said Melody Beattie – Love Yourself Enough to Relax.
“Our bodies react to the world around us – and within us – in many ways. Our bodies act like sponges – they can soak up healing energy or they can absorb and trap the negative energy of stress and tension. Some of us are so used to keeping out bodies tense and bound up we don’t even notice how much they hurt, how strained and tight our muscles are…..
If you’ve been soaking up too much stress, give yourself a break. Let your body start soaking up some healing energy, too. Love yourself enough to help your body relax.”
🙂 🙂 🙂 Highlights from my Sunday of relaxing:
1. Lazy morning in bed
2. Brunch in Eastern Market
3. Shopping the market (always great people watching)
4. Playing (more like trying to play) cards
5. QT time. 😉
*I am ready for a new week of solid meditation & yoga practice.
Tonight we celebrated a big moment at my work – a 600 person event to say goodbye to our building (the company has been in it for 30 years and we move to Tyson’s in 6 weeks)!!! I will admit that I did not have an official meditation session, but I did take 5 minutes to sit and relax before the craziness of the event started. It was a whirlwind of a couple days and evening, but the event was lovely. Below is a photo of “my person” at work AND close friend who consistently supports me and makes work a happier place. Aside from my 5 minutes of stillness and silence, I spent a lot of time thinking about how grateful I am for her in my life. Thank you SW for being you – you’ve been through more in a few months than most should ever deal with in a year. Love you!
Work has been so busy the past week that I feel like the below has been my personal anthem. Thank you for the reminder M. Beattie – timing is everything and this reading was perfect.
“Stay present for each step of your journey. Trust each stage. Many things are possible for you if you accept that the fastest way is one step at a time.”
If you ask anyone who knows me they would tell you that one of my happiest places is on the dance floor. Whether that “floor” is my shower, kitchen, a street, my chair, my car, etc., I am seriously happy any time I am dancing. The feeling cannot be described as anything more than pure joy and I could go as far as to say that dancing becomes something I “nerd out” about. I have to mention this because this past evening I went to a salsa lesson in Adam’s Morgan and it was SO fun. I am sure the instructor probably wondered why I had a plastered look of happiness all over my face, and why I was continually encouraging everyone as we learned new steps and patterns, but I was just so happy!
Needless to say, I was exhausted when I got home and realized I still needed to meditate, but lucky for me I had some support to share in my meditation. I’m not sure if anyone has ever tried meditating with someone else, but it is both empowering and relaxing. It was the second time I’ve shared my meditation on this journey and I am grateful for these moments just as much as I am for the solo meditation sessions I’ve had. As I sat back-to-back on Thursday night, I felt so much connection and support for the very quiet 10 minutes we had together. I could feel every small movement of this other person: breathe moving in & out, some nods off to sleep, and small body twitches. There is something about experiencing and feeling silence with another person (especially someone you care a lot about) that is powerful and opens you up differently than conversation & physicality. <I mean I love hugs, really any physical touch in general is a necessity in my life (my friends would laugh if they read this because while living here in DC I often ask for hugs on random day’s)>. To me, the silent moments is when I find deeper vulnerability and support opening my heart. Of course, stimulus also creates connection, support, and vulnerability, but those silent moments really bring it all together.Over the past week I’ve really started to understand the perks of silent stillness in each day, and I am very much looking forward to another 3 weeks of silent reflection.
**Thank you meditation buddy for letting me feel something new and experience sitting in silence with you** 🙂